Forever 17
by Maverick88
Summary: "Funny how we always want what we can't have." Edward's POV. Takes place before the events in the first book.


"Observe and blend in", Carlisle had told me after I'd just gotten in control of my new form. And I had. Walking, talking, switching up my stance, doing all those tiny things that I used to do in my 'other life'. But I could never get used to the way humans ran. It was just plain insufficient and tiring to look at. Even athletes looked clumsy to my enhanced eyesight. So I just stuck to my own method and skipped sports when it came up. I didn't want to attract any more attention than I had to.

It was early in the morning. The best time to run. Most people were still in bed and early morning truck drivers weren't on the road yet. Even if someone caught me, I would be just a glimpse. People would blame it on their eyesight, imagination and they'd probably go and get a cup of coffee to make sure they were actually awake.

My feet barely touched the pavement and I switched it into high gear, going even faster. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a red car driving down a road parallel to the path I was running on. If it hadn't been for the trees and darkness that separated us, I would have been worried. But I knew the driver didn't have my eyesight, nor the inclination to stare into the dark woods looking for something that didn't exist.

'It's better to be safe than sorry,' the voice of reason reminded me. Human sayings did have their purpose, and Carlisle had rammed them into me like the tireless teacher he could be. So I accelerated and altered my route.

Running cleared my head and made me feel alive, though I would never feel my heart beating from the exertion. That was the thing about being what I was. Stuck between the land of the living and the realm of the dead. Frozen in the body of a 17 year old boy for eternity. To some people -those resorting to artificial means in an attempt to hold onto their youth- being like me must sound like a dream come true.

I had often wondered if it wasn't a disguised version of hell. Days, weeks, months and years passed me by, meaning nothing. Everything around me changed, except myself. There was a reason I stopped looking in the mirror years ago. And then there was the thirst that had me resort to extreme measures in order to quench it. Like a drug addict desperately looking for a fix. The difference between us was that I needed to kill in order to get what I wanted. And there was no cure for my addiction.

I hopped over tree trunks and dodged broken branches effortlessly, keeping my pace steady. It had been a long time ago when I had actually been excited about my freedom of movement. Today it was just another settled familiarity, one that came as naturally as breathing to humans. I had been so lost in thought I hadn't noticed the run rising, barely poking through the cover of clouds that seemed as constant and everlasting as my existence.

The forest started to thin and I heard the sound of water before I saw it. I had arrived at the beach of La Push. Werewolf territory. The sun warned me with a ray that had my exposed skin light up and glitter like a disco ball. I briefly wondered if it could actually warm my core temperature to human proportions, if I had the chance to be in it long enough. _'Don't even think about it.' _I decided to take my own advice and retreated into the shadows where it was safe.

Suddenly I heard a growl. My head snapped up. A werewolf? I almost smacked myself for being so sloppy. The low rumble came from deep in its chest, but the sound didn't seem quite right. I suspected it might be one of the new ones. Young and reckless. I prepared myself for battle, peeking out of my hiding place so I could get a visual.

A German shepherd greeted me with a curious bark. It stopped in front of me, then backed up a little, as if unsure what to make of me.

'_Atleast I was right about the young and reckless part.'_ Dogs usually knew better than to approach a vampire. My kind usually refrained from killing dogs as it would attract attention, but that didn't mean we weren't dangerous to them.

The sun finally burst through a gap in the clouds, forcing me to find a better hiding place. I covered my head with the hood of my grey sweater and pulled down the sleeves as much as they would permit me. Footsteps were approaching, and if I ran away now, I would attract attention. I needed to get out of here unnoticed.

"Zorro, get back here!" I frowned at the name, especially because an old voice called it. A lady with shoulderlength white hair and skin as leather walked over to me slowly, but steadily. The dog rushed over to her and I didn't move.

"Did my dog scare you, boy? You look awefully pale." I smiled. Sometimes my deathly skin colour did come in handy.

"No m'am, he just startled me, that's all." I said, trying to sound like a teen who wanted to come across as confident, but didn't quite succeed. I looked down when another ray of sun brightened the morning sky.

"Lovely weather, isn't it? I've been hoping for some sun for ages." I glanced up, my gaze met by that blinding orb, and I cursed myself for grabbing the bait. I'd missed the sun too, though to me, it was as dangerous as it was beautiful.

Unfortunately, she'd caught my slip up. I could tell from the thoughts buzzing inside her head. But there seemed to be a lot less of them than in the heads of my classmates at school. Teens had word vomit down to an art form and I'd gotten used to it, thinking it was normal. I was reminded now that there was such a thing as an organized mind.

I dared facing her again when the heat of the sun had left me. "I'm an albino," I said, hoping my eyes were light enough to convince her. I'd killed a deer just yesterday, so atleast I didn't have to fight the monster inside me that insisted to feed my body with proper blood. The woman nodded sympathetically. "This is probably the only time of the day where you can be out without risks of skincancer," she mused and I nodded slowly.

A comfortable silence surrounded us, but it felt temporary. Like a calm before the storm. I needed to get away before she started adding two and two together. Zorro had also assumed a protective stance in front of her, eying me warily. She hadn't noticed—yet.

"Do all albino's have your eyecolour?" She suddenly asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Not all," I said, doing my best to hide the fact her question had rattled me. I folded my hands behind my back, making sure no stray ray of light could reach them. "It depends on the amount of pigments in the iris. Some have blue eyes, others with a fewer amount of pigment appear to have violet eyes, because the red shines through."

"Well, whatever caused it, you have beautiful eyes. The girls must be crazy about you."

If I could blush, I would have. "Thank you." Unfortunately it also drove home how much appearance meant to humans. If she could only see what was really inside me, she wouldn't have made that statement. Zorro growled once again, reminding me that he wasn't impressed by the pretty boy mask I was wearing. She eyed the dog curiously, telling it to be calm. I knew that if I didn't leave soon, the dog's loyalty might cause it do stupid things, like attacking me.

"I better get going." I favoured her with a wry smile. "I have to go to school today."

"Good day to you then, young man." I nodded and turned around. But before I accelerated, running away with the speed of a lightening bolt, the woman's thoughts entered my mind one more time.

'_I wish I was young again, with a whole life in front of me. I'd love to go to school again. Poor boy doesn't know what he has until he's gotten old like me.' _

A little digging in her mind told me she was a widow, living alone with her dog. Visits from her children and grandchildren were the only notable events in her recent life. One of the grandchildren had given the dog it's name. My sister Rosalie would kill for having a shot at getting kids. I would kill for having a shot at love, as short and temporary as it might be.

'Funny how we always want what we can't have', Carlisle's voice spoke up from a distant memory. I sighed, concentrating on the day that lay ahead of me, like I had once done when that still interested me. A new girl would arrive today, Isabella Swan. All attention would be centered around her, giving me room to relax and act more like myself. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it would stand out, just like the sun had before it hid itself again behind the rainy clouds.

THE END


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